


One-Shots & Drabbles: Packers Men Edition

by acid_and_oil (orphan_account)



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: College Pacman, M/M, One Shot Collection, packermen, whatever we call this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/acid_and_oil
Summary: A collection of unconnected short stories involving the pairing of Jack x Vlad.





	1. The Backwash Incident -M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing says bonding like backwash.
> 
> In the episode 'Maternal Instinct' , Vlad tells Maddie that he forgave Jack for three things: the accident that ruined his life, stealing Maddie, and The Backwash Incident.

Vlad Masters had such a hangover. When the 19 year old college student woke up, his head was pounding, and his mouth was dry. He blinked groggily and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He had passed out on his bed, that’s for sure. Judging from the lack of sun shining through the makeshift bed sheet curtain that covered the window, it was still night. 

Vlad thought back to earlier that night. His roommate and best friend, Jack, had just been dumped over the phone by his high-school girlfriend. She had said that the long-distance thing just wasn’t working. Vlad himself had asked out a woman, only to be laughed at. The two of them then decided to hell with women, they would get a case of beer, two large pizzas, and have a boy’s night in.

Vlad groaned and rubbed his head. It really hurt. His bones ached, too. Bits and pieces of the night came back in out of order flashes.

He remembered knocking back a several cans of Old Milwaukee. Wrestling with Jack. Listening to a theory about ghosts. One of the pizzas came with meatball even though he ordered sausage. Worrying that he was going to be alone forever. 

Vlad smacked his lips a few times. His mouth was really, really dry. He heard the snap and fizz of a can opening. It was still pretty dark, but by now his eyes had somewhat adjusted and he could make out silhouettes and shapes. He looked to his right, and saw his roommate sitting on his own bed a few feet away, having a drink. 

“Other beer already?” 

Jack startled just a little, and replied in a voice that pretty much matched how achy Vlad felt. “No… it’s cola.”

Vlad was even more aware of his parched throat. “Can I have one?”

“Uh-uh. That requires movement.” Jack lazily reached his arm across the space between the beds. “You can have a sip of mine.”

Vlad shifted in his bed, leaning and stretching to take the can from Jack’s hands. He could relate to the whole not wanting to move thing.

Vlad semi-sit up to avoid spilling without actually having to move much. He lifted the can to his lips. He took a slow sip of the bubbly brown liquid, letting it fill his mouth.

And then he promptly spit it out.

“Aggh! What is wrong with this cola?" The texture was wrong, and it tasted bitter and kind of salty.

Jack’s voice sounded slightly sheepish. “I probably should have brushed my teeth after earlier.”

Earlier? The phrase set off another string of memory flashes in Vlad’s groggy beer-addled brain. Earlier… Vlad feeling sorry himself. Asking who could ever love a gangly geek like himself. Jack telling him that he was actually very attractive. That he was smart, and funny, and open-minded. That he was the best friend he ever had, and how he better not ever talk like that about himself again. Vlad shaking his head, deep in his own self pity, insisting that Jack was just saying that, it wasn’t true. Jack putting a large hand on Vlad’s chin, pushing his head up, looking him straight in the eyes. Jack telling him that it was all true, and he was going to prove it.

Jack’s lips on his lips. Beer flavored, and strange. Men’s lips. Vlad clumsily, drunkenly trying to keep up with the rapid movement.

Jack dropping to his knees. Jack working open Vlad’s zipper with thick, awkward fingers. Pulling down his pants. Putting his mouth…

“Eep!” Vlad quickly got up, his energy suddenly finding him. He thrust the can back toward his roommate, not even double checking that he had a good grip on it before pulling away. “On second thought, I should probably just get my own.” With that, Vlad Masters ran off to the mini fridge that was in the common room to grab a cola, not even stopping when he realized he still wasn’t wearing any pants.

Nothing like that ever happened again, and they never discussed it outright. If there was ever any need to reference that night, they simply called it

The Backwash Incident.


	2. Can't Decide -M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated M. Violence & some sexual content. Takes place right before Bitter Reunions.

Their where so many, many, infinite ways that Vlad could go about killing Jack. He would lie back in bed at night, wide awake, each different scenario running through his feverish, obsessed mind.

He could invite Jack to his lake house for a fishing trip. Jack wasn’t one for the sport, so Vlad would have to be creative. He would take him to Lake Eerie, which actually was haunted on occasion.Then they would take a rickety boat into the muggy spirit-infested water, Vlad telling Jack that he wouldn’t recommend it, but if he insists… Then, in the middle of the dark waters, in the middle of the night, Vlad would reveal himself as Plasmius, reveal his true feelings and his intentions. Jack’s fish-nibbled, bloated body would have to be drug up by the coast guard the next day, a distraught Vlad pacing and shaking, playing every part the heartbroken friend. Every part the comforting shoulder to his lost buddy’s widow. It’s what Jack would have wanted, Maddie. For me to take care of you.

He could keep it simple and clean. He could contaminate a plate of fudge. Use an undetectable ecto-poison, slowly corrupting every single one of Jack’s cells, killing him in a way modern science could never hope to identify or correct. Maddie was smart. Maddie may suspect, and part of her brilliant, scientist’s mind would admire and dare maybe respect the dedication in developing the advanced compound.

He could lure Vlad deep into the basement of his home. The promise of a ghost sighting, perhaps. Something to convince him to stand in front of a stretch of concrete wall . Vlad would then grab the fat man by the collar of that stupid, stupid orange and black jumpsuit. He would turn the man intangible, and thrust his him through the wall, leaving him wedged in the cold wall to die of suffocation. Or was it compression? Vlad thought, gleefully.

There were many other scenarios, of course. Some more plausible or more satisfying than others. The two often didn’t coincide, but they were fun to think about. Thrilling.

Vlad could overshadow Jack. Tell Maddie that he despised her, and hated the children. He could use that fat oafs own tongue to damn and damage him, and use his own beefy legs to walk him over the side of the garish rooftop of Fenton Works. Vlad would leave his body before it reached the street, of course. He would be invisible, right next to the body as he heard it splat. Would it make a thud? A squish? Would there be an explosion, flesh and blood flying, coating his skin? Would it simply look like Jack was sleeping? Would his limbs lay flat, or jut out at unnatural angles, twisted, broken and deformed?

Of course he could do the deforming himself, deliberately and methodically. He could tie Jack up in ecto-energy chains. Keep him on a cold slab of a table. It would double as gurney for when the deed was done, when he had enough of the torture. He could electrocute him. Carve pieces off with a hot knife. Stab that blubbery flesh, blade moving in and out in slow, steady thrusts. Make Jack scream, make him beg. He would grab the back of his full, graying hair, and thrust his head up. Looking Jack in the eyes, before spitting on his face.

No matter how he chose to do it, slow, fast. Clever or brutish. Jack would pay. Yes, Vlad would make him pay so hard…

Vlad sat up suddenly, and looked down at his blankets, stilling the movement of his hand that had been pumping his shaft furiously. He hadn’t even realized that he had been touching himself. Was he really getting off on this fantasy of his? On the hypothetical murder of his former best friend, of the man who ruined his life, and whose wife he coveted? Vlad’s lip curled in a maniacal sneer, his head falling back on his pillow, and his hand commencing it’s motion. 

Where was he? Ah, yes… he could invite Jack, Maddie and their children to his mansion. He could set up an entire elaborate college reunion, and entice the family into sleeping over with the story of his house being haunted. They wouldn’t be able to resist. Jack wouldn’t be able to resist…


	3. Bizarre Triangle -T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suuuuuper short one, guys. Drabble-iest of the drabbles

The flirting didn’t bother Maddie. Not really. She knew it was harmless, that nothing would ever come from it. He himself probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, to be perfectly honest. It was simply a by-product of his personally combined with physical attraction and their natural chemistry. As a scientist, she couldn’t fault biology.

It wasn’t the act of flirting itself that bothered Maddie Fenton, as much the who it was directed at.

Out of all people, why did her husband have to flirt with Vlad?


	4. Mad Time -T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate take on the events of Masters of All Time.   
> Predictable and probably hella ooc, but the idea wouldn't leave me so I just did it any way  
> Rated T.

Danny had done it. He had gone back in time with Clockwork's help. He needed to prevent Vlad from being hit by the proto-portal's blast. He overshadowed his father's younger self and pushed Vlad away. Then he hopped out of him and went back to his own time, content that he had just saved his friends. 

Danny climbed the steps of the Fenton Works building. If he had been paying attention, he would have realized that the deck and the neon sign were missing. When his key didn't work, Danny began to knock on the door. A woman he didn't recognize opened the door. Through the gap he saw that the house was different. Different wall paper, different furniture. "What is going on here?" He asked. "I don't know" said the woman "you tell me. You're the one who is standing on my doorstep." An uneasy feeling crept into Danny's gut, and it wasn't his ghost-sense. "Exactly how long have you lived here?" The woman looked affronted. "13 years, kid. Now if you are selling something, get on with it already, I was just about the start dinner." 

He left the property to go think. Danny was shaken. His family didn't live there anymore? What exactly did he do? Danny decided to go ghost and scope some things out. He turned invisible and went inside of Sam's mansion. She was in there, perfectly healthy and not covered in acne. She was reading a book. Danny decided to mess with her a little bit. He took the book from her hands and made it appear to float. Instead of rolling her eyes and chiding him for using his powers to perform pranks, Sam screamed and backed away. She quickly calmed down and smiled, and for a second Danny thought everything was okay. "Who's there? This isn't funny." Danny turned visible, keeping his Phantom form. "Do you know what is going on? I tried to go home, but some lady said she's been living there for for 13 years, and she redecorated and everything. My parents may have had weird ghost equipment everywhere, but at least they didn't use avocado colored wall paper or shag carpeting."

Sam's eyes widened. "You are a real ghost! This is so cool! I can't wait to tell Rebecca about this! Where is that house you used to live in? Do I need to like help you cross over? This is so cool!"

Danny crumbled a little. Sam didn't know him, and was apparently friends with Rebecca for some reason. His parents didn't live in the old house. What was going on here? He thought back to a movie about time travel he saw once, when his parents had an 80's movie night. Could saving Vlad really have been changed his life? He spoke to Sam. "Um maybe later. I gotta get going. Bye!" 

He phased through the wall and flew off. He needed to find a way to get back to the ghost zone and fast. He needed to get back to Clockwork so he could fix this. Where could he find a ghost portal in a world where Fenton Work's belonged to some cranky lady with poor interior decorator skills? 

Bad interior decor! That made him think of Vlad. If Vlad didn't have the accident, would he even have a portal now? Flying to Wisconsin would be exhausting, especially if he wasn't sure it would pay off. At this point, he had little other options, so he sighed and began the 400 mile flight. He wasn’t sure how long he had been flying, when suddenly a mass of metal tentacle-like wires shot towards him. Reflectively he turned intangible, but they still wrapped around him, tiny metal burrs on the tips digging into him, and releasing a jolt of energy throughout his body. Danny Phantom fell to the ground, the last thing he saw before slipping unconscious was the blurry form of a woman with long, dark hair and burning red eyes. 

When Danny awoke, he was strapped to a table. He looked around. He was in a ghost researcher’s lab, he could tell that much. But it wasn’t Vlad’s or his parent’s. He could see specimen jars, vats of chemicals, and various pieces of equipment and machinery. The hazy female figure he had been attacked by was nowhere to be seen. Danny tried to phase outside of the restraints, but found he couldn’t. Startled, he began to frantic kick and struggle, trying to escape.

“ I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He followed the voice to one of the jars. A small, green creature was inside.  
“Skulker? What is going on here?” His voice turned menacing. “Are you somehow involved in this?”

This seemed to upset the creature. “Hello? Stuck in a jar over here! Of course I don’t have anything to do with this. Do I know you?”

Just then, they were uninterrupted. The ghost woman came down the stairs, prepping a syringe with long, blue fingers. There was something familiar about her, although Danny couldn’t remember encountering a ghost like her in his life. She had long black hair, bangs cut in a triangle like Sam’s. Her skin was a ghastly blue, which contrasted with the long white coffin style dress she was wearing. “Good, you’re awake. Now maybe you can answer some of my questions like a good little ghost and I won’t have to dissect you.”  
Danny glared and kept quiet in defiance. “There is no use in keeping their secrets any more. I know who you are working for. I followed you, so I know where you were going.”

“I don’t work for anyone. I’m just trying to find a way home. You don’t have a ghost portal that I can use by any chance, do you?”

The ghost smiled, and 

 

Danny could see the inside of her mouth. With the hair, dress, and fangs, she had almost a vampire look.   
“A ghost portal, huh? That must be what they are after.”

“I told you I’m not working for anybody. You really don’t listen, do you, lady?”

“My name is not ‘lady’, my name is Mad Lilith! I am the Wisconsin University Ghoul, the greatest hunter and researcher of my own kind, scourge of human and ghost-kind. I am what they made me.”

This all was sounding sort of familiar. “What you are is a total fruit-loop. Have you ever met Vlad Masters? I think you’d get along.”

Mad Lilith’s eyes blazed red, and she slammed a fist on the table, right next to Danny’s side, making him jump as much as he could in the restraints. “I knew you were working for them! Ghosts are all filthy liars!”

“Um lady you have some serious issues. If you don’t like ghosts, then maybe you should look in the mirror. Besides, I’m only half-ghost.”

Mad Lilith backed up. “Half-ghost? I don’t believe you.”

Danny willed himself to change back into human form. Lilith was stunned. “How is this possible? I thought I was the only one.” Black rings moved down her body, revealing something that been suspected in the back corner of Danny’s mind this whole time. 

She was thinner than the woman he knew. Her hair was longer, frizzy and graying, she hadn’t bothered to straighten or dye it. There was no doubt who this was. “Mom?”  
The stunned look was replaced him anger again. “I am not your mother. I don’t have any kids, any family. Any chances of having a normal life was stolen from me by Jack Fenton.”

Danny thought back to the accident. Did he really save Vlad only to have his mom caught in the cross-fire? He felt so stupid, he should have checked.   
“No, this is all my fault. If you let me use the ghost portal, I can fix everything.” 

“Or, I could just use you as a test subject to develop a cure.”

The door of the lab started to buckle.“Speak of the devil…” The door gave way, and a large man in an orange jumpsuit came charging through.   
“Ah-ha, I’ve cornered you at last. Unhand that human.”

“Tsk, tsk, Jack Fenton. Your partner won’t like to hear that you’ve been looking for me again. You know how much he hates it when you hunt ghosts.” Her tone and body language was almost seductive. “But what your boyfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt, hmmm?” 

Boyfriend? Also, was that a blush that Danny detected on his not-father’s cheeks? “Stop playing these games. I love Vlad, he just doesn’t understand why I’d risk my life for you. Let me get you some help, Maddie. We all used to be such good friends.”

“I don’t need your kind of help, Jack Fenton.”


	5. Just Like Heaven -G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating -G? Really? Canon TUE and MOAT deaths are mentioned.

After the young Daniel saved his family and friends from their fate, Vlad Master's timeline ceased to exist. He knew this would happen the moment he agreed to help the boy, and was completely at peace with it. He would gladly sacrifice his own bitter existence to ensure that Jack and Maddie didn't die in the explosion at that infernal burger dive. 

Yes, Vlad knew why his timeline, the one where his ghost half was ripped out and fused with Phantom, was no longer. What he didn't understand was why, instead of simply blinking out of existence, he had been relocated to an isolated pocket of the ghost zone. He had been looking forward to finally finding peace, and was irritated to have that stolen from him. 

He soon however discovered that Daniel was there, too. The one from his timeline, the human he had ripped the ghost out of. He was overwhelmed by emotion. They both were, really. Vlad hugged the boy, eyes brimming with tears. After lots of hugging and crying and heartfelt words, a thought occurred to Vlad. 

"If we went here after we died,-"

Danny's solemn face and head shake silenced the thought. Jack and Maddie would not be joining them. 

The realm was only for half-ghosts, (human half only included). They had no way of knowing it of course, but that was actually the reason Clockwork kept Dan outside of time. Otherwise, he would have been there too. 

There was no way to leave. It was their own private den. Their own 'Halfa Heaven'. Time passed, although they had no way of keeping track of it. Vlad remained the same 52 year old man he had been when the timeline was changed, albeit with a repaired suit. Danny had remained 14 the entire time he had spent there. 

Then, one day, something felt different. The air was electric, expecting. The sky was alight with purples and greens, and Danny remarked that it was the same when Vlad had arrived. Both leapt into action, Vlad shielding the boy with his body. They were both thinking the same thing. 

The large half-ghost who arrived in the den was not Dark Danny. His skin was blue, his hair in familiar twin points. His face was familiar as well, except his mouth was twisted in anger.  
"How could you do that to me, Vladdie? To Maddie? You could have killed her!" He saw Danny, and looked around, confused. "Where are we? What's my son from an another time doing here?"

Son from another time? There was only person who called him Vladdie. "Jack? Is that really you?"

Jack Plasmius reverted to his human form. There was a discussion, a comparing of notes. Apologizing, laughing, crying. 

The three of them. All regects from defunct timelines. All had experienced being half-ghost. All had gone through loss and pain. All they had were each other, for the rest of eternity. 

Time was different there. Not one of them knew how long it had been. But when Jack Plasmius and Vlad fell in love, when they formed a bond, it soon felt as though it had always been that way. It was not in a way that he would have ever considered, but Vlad had received forgiveness and found love, happiness, and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Jack Plasmius x Vlad has been done before, but I was thinking about how there was technically another half-ghost that Vlad could be shipped with so yeah, this happened.
> 
> The halfa heaven concept was not my idea, (though I've never seen Jack Plasmius included in it) I saw it on a Tumblr post.


	6. For a Long Time - G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated G. No warnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't tell by now, my favorite episode is Masters of All Time.

University of Wisconsin-Madison. 1984. Room 101 of the science building. Three students were preparing for the debut run of a project they were working on. A ghost portal. Vlad Masters watched as his roommate Jack Fenton, hovered in front of a computer monitor. Jack was the best friend that Vlad had ever had. He was so enthusiastic and smart. The theory had been all Maddie, but Jack was the engineer that had developed the equipment in the first place. None of this would have possible without him. Not that Vlad actually believed the portal would work. It was all just an excuse to spend more time with his crush.

Maddie and Vlad had quickly formed a friendship after Jack introduced them. Jack had gotten the idea that maybe Vlad had a thing for her, but he did not. Why would he have feelings for Maddie when he had an amazing man like Jack Fenton in his life? He could never tell his best friend how he really felt. . His heart ached whenever the large man wrapped him in one of those famous Fenton bear-hugs. Vlad wasn't stupid. He knew that Jack would never love him back. But even the pain of silently loving his best friend was better than the pain that losing him completely would bring. 

Maddie had noticed, of course. She was brilliant, and she spent a lot of time with both of them. How could not tell? When she had brought the subject up to Vlad the day before, he had snapped at her. Called her a prying busy body, and said the thought of being with Jack was disgusting, and that he couldn’t believe she would think that he was like that. Maddie had backed off, but things were still a little tense between the two. It wasn’t fair. She wasn’t wrong, and she was a good friend. Vlad needed to fix this. He needed to apologize, to tell her she was right about his feelings for Jack. She was a good friend of his, and he had been wanting to come out to her for a long time now. He would have to wait until after the portal was done being tested. And then, maybe with her support, he would have the courage to talk to Jack.


	7. Old Moves -T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated T I guess?  
> Quick re-write of a Bitter Reunions scene

"Heads up, V-Man!" Jack Fenton ran headlong into Vlad Masters, tackling him to the ground. He took the football he had been holding out of his arms. "Ha! You still have the old moves!"

"Indeed I do." Vlad purred, rolling over so that he was now the one on top. "And if you stick around long enough, I think you'll find that I've picked up plenty of new moves as well."

Danny Fenton turned to his sister. "Is he hitting on Dad?"

Jazz whispered back. "As long he's got working toilets and Dad says no, who cares?"


	8. Blood & Fudge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated T? For slight gore? Monster AU

He was alone. He was a damned creature, stuck between living and dead, beast and man. He lived a half-life, sustained only by plasma and his own bitter memories. It wasn't always this way. 

\----------------------------

 

Animal attacks had been plaguing the citizens of the small village of Amity Park. The attacks happened a few days every month, bloody, ferocious maimings. Bones were snapped, throats ripped out. The Mayor of Amity Parke was a man by the name of Vladimir Masters. The people had demanded that he provide an answer, that he protect the town. The people were weak minded. Suspious. There were talks of demons, of a man with the thirst and jaws of a rabid beast. This was pure peasant nonsense, and Vladimir sought to capture or kill the creature. When it was proven to be a common animal, and the attacks stopped, the stories would stop. The talk of magic would quiet, and Vlad would be honored and respected again. 

He hired a man to take care of the problem. A hunter, a professional. The large man was known to collect the pelts and skulls of many a dangerous beast. The man's skin was dark, his body smooth and hairless, and he stalked his prey in the way of the animals, with patience and tact. The man brought back the body of a common coyote. .The masses where somewhat quelled though many still attested that there was no way the predator was a mere animal. Too intelligent. Two weekends later, the killings resumed. 

That was where Jack Fenton came into play. He was an inventor. He and his wife would come up with amazing contraptions. They also fancied themselves to be experts of the unnatural world. Vlad and Jack had studied together in their youth, and had a friendship of sorts, but Vlad did not believe in monsters and ghosts, and had seen less of Jack after he had gotten married. Jack thought maybe Vlad fancied Maddie, but he was wrong. The man held forbidden feelings for his old friend. An attraction that would surely have him hung if he were to ever speak or act upon them.

In the woods on the dead of night, the two men walked alone. There was a sound in the bushes, a snap of a twig. Vlad went to investigate. Jack followed at a distance, holding his gun. Large and clumsy, Jack made an error. He tripped on a root, setting the gun off and alerting the creature to Vlad's presence. Vlad screamed. When he reached Jack, he was clutching his face. A creature had managed to scratch Vlad's face And bite him on the shoulder. The blood streaked through his fingers. The fabric of his shirt was soaked a dark crimson.

Jack bellowed in grief. "I'm so sorry, Vladdie," he whispered. Jack scooped up the smaller man and carried him. He knew what kind of creature this was. He knew there was no cure, but he and Maddie had hypothesed that the curse could be slowed, reduced by half, if the bitten regularly drank a tonic made of bloodblossoms. The pain would be excruciating and he would have to isolate himself for the safety of the village, but couldn't let this man die. Jack held his dear friend close, kissing him gently through his own tears. "I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make a vampire AU, but instead I just made it as if ghosts were monsters and could transfer with a bite. Kind of a cross between werewolf and vampire lore? Idk the whole thing is kind of a mess but I don't care because it's good practice and was fun


	9. Whichever - T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another packers men drabble I wrote instead of working on MBFBF, original fiction, or the million other things I probably should do instead. Oh well.

Vlad Masters had been best friends with Jack Fenton since they were assigned as roommates in their freshman year of college. They did everything together, they were like brothers. More than brothers. They were very close.

Soon, they met a young woman met Maddie. Vlad was thinking about asking her out, after all, he was a boy and she was a girl, and he did admire her a lot, but an accident sent him to the hospital for a very long time. Vlad was upset that he wasn’t visited, and blamed Jack for the accident in the first place, but thought about nothing but how he would woo Maddie once he was well. After all, it wasn’t her spontaneity and enthusiasm that had damned him. It was Jack’s. He clung onto this fantasy like a dog to a bone.

When he was released and discovered that his two former friends had gotten married, it broke him. He declined to contact either of them, and focused on becoming rich and successful so that he may obtain what he desired that way. He figured if he waited it out, the marriage wouldn’t last anyway. Jack may have been a brilliant engineer, but personality-wise, he was total bafoon. Vlad still kept tabs on the family. 

They had a daughter first, Jasmine. Then a son, Daniel. He watched them grow. He watched the Fentons become successful in their own way, Jack inventing things, and Maddie making groundbreaking discoveries in the field of paranormal studies.

Twenty years after his accident, it was apparent Maddie would not be leaving Jack anytime soon. He would just have to kill him. Or seduce him instead.   
Whichever works.


	10. Program

Variety is the spice of life is what some always say. For others, like Vlad Masters, it is the routine that they look forward to. The comfort and the security of wealth and of prestige. Knowing ones goals and (the discovery of another half-ghost withstanding) dedicating oneself to making those goals happen. 

They wasn't to say he wasn't adaptable. Of course he was. As a half ghost, it was technically in his DNA to be able to change. He was also impatient, despite having the attention span to not waver from his goal of wooing Maddie for twenty years. 

His genius and his wealth and his impatience led to the creation of the Maddie Program. It was a hologram, a voice-activated personal assistant. It was a work-in-progress, sure, but the form and voice of his object of affections was recognizable, and was programmed to listen to him and to bestow terms of endearment. 

Vlad may have valued consistency for the most part, but for the other part, for the 'spice' as you may call it, he had another familiar face that would seep into his dreams, and he would dream of this other's affections. 

It was for those days, for those needs, the Jack Program was created for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this ship Collection for the moment anyway. I got other stuff to focus on. It was fun though, and thanks for reading


	11. Pour Some Sugar On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lied. I wrote another packers men fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was writing my strip club pompous pep fic, this idea came to me.

Vlad stood in front of his floor-length mirror. He looked okay, he guessed. It was the Friday after his 18th birthday, and his best friend was coming soon to pick him up. 

Using his fingers and some gel, Vlad tousled his shaggy hair. It was mostly black, with a noticeable streak of premature gray. He used to hate it, but ever Jack said it was a good look on him, he displayed it proudly. Vlad liked pleasing Jack.

Vlad was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a car horn. Of course Jack wouldn’t bother coming inside. He kept beeping the horn. Vlad rolled his eyes and grinned, before grabbing his wallet and leaving the house.

“Looking good, V-Man!” Vlad blushed a little.

“Well, you did tell me to dress nice,” he muttered.

“You are going to thank me for it, too! Just wait until you see where I’m taking you!”

Jack had told Vlad he was taking him out to celebrate his 18th, but had insisted on keeping the destination a surprise. It had left Vlad’s imagination plenty of room to take over. He knew it was unlikely his friend returned his feelings, but he couldn’t help but fantasize. Jack would take him to a sports bar. He would buy him a few drinks, make plans for when they roomed together all college in the fall. Then they would go on a moonlit stroll, and Jack would profess his love, tipping Vlad’s chin upward his his large hand. Vlad would confess to feeling the same, and Jack would pull him into a passionate kiss…

“And we are here! Am I the best friend ever of what?”

“You certainly are something.” Vlad muttered, heart sinking when he took in the sight. It was a squat brick building. There was a couple neon signs for brands of beer, as well as one that said ‘Live Girls’. Vlad groaned and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Of course Jack would bring him to a strip club. 

They entered the establishment, flashing their ID’s. The carpet was plush and a pinkish purple. The walls were probably white, but the lighting made them look more blue. There were rows of chairs and small tables set up, some filled by men, others empty. He followed Jack to one of them, determined to try to have a good time. Jack was clearly proud of his choice. At least he would get to have drinks and spend time with Jack.

There were a few women scattered about, performing and taking drink orders. Jack ordered a pitcher of beer from a tall blonde wearing a tight red dress. 

“Say, which one do you like?” 

Vlad felt the tips of his ears heat up. “What?”

“It’s your birthday, Vladdie! I’m buying you a lap dance!”

Vlad sputtered and told him it wasn’t necessary, but Jack wouldn’t take no for an answer. “I’ll tell you what, if you are nervous, I’ll get one first”

“Well, don’t do me any favors, Jack.”

‘This is how I spend my birthday’ Vlad thought, ‘at a dingy strip joint, drinking watered down beer and watching the love of my life get a lap dance from some busty tart.’

Vlad looked over the woman who dancing on his Jack. What was so special about her? The woman Jack selected was tall, and had long black hair that was teased up to high heaven. Her lips were painted pink, and she was wearing a pair of jeans that had been cut off extremely short.. The bottoms of the interior pockets stuck out, laying against the top of her thigh. Vlad’s gaze when from the dancer’s thigh, to Jack’s thigh. One of his hands was resting there, nervously clenching the fabric of his jeans. Jack’s cheeks were red. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, and Vlad’s eyes tracked the movement. Would Jack be this adorably flustered if it was Vlad who was teasing him, if it was Vlad who was flipping his hair and rolling his hips? He listened to the sharp intake of breath as the dancer thrust her chest in Jack’s face. Vlad wondered what kinds of sounds he would make if he was actually touched. Would Jack pant or grunt? Was he a moaner? Jack’s lips were now parted slightly, and he kept licking them nervously. Now the dancer was leaning deep over Jack’s chair. Vlad noticed that Jack was squirming a bit. His brows were furrowed, as if in concentration. What was he concentrating on? Oh. Oh! Vlad felt a stab of jealousy. He wanted to be the one who had that effect on Jack. Watching Jack was certainly having that effect on him.

After his dance was over, Jack again asked Vlad who he wanted. Vlad decided that if he had to pick somebody, he would a get a dance from that same woman. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much to hope that maybe Jack would get something out of it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leopard didn't come out until 1986. If Vlad's 20 year college reunion was in 2004, his 18th birthday was likely in 1980. whatever.


End file.
